Provoking Your Thoughts

Catching Up

2007-06-03T16:43:00.000-07:00

It's been some time since i've blog but time has really been a luxury with National Service and all. But since i had the pleasure of a long weekend due to Vesak Day and a "holiday-in-view", i'll take time out to post. Going back a couple of weeks first.

My two uncles, John and Gerard came down to Australia with their significant other to celebrate Uncle John's and my greatgrandmother's birthdays. So it was on to Aunt Carol's house for dinner. Here are a few photo's..

From top to bottom, Uncle Gerard, Uncle John, Dad

Fooling around. You can't blame me for drinking so much, as you can see, all my uncles all do..

The ~~Addams~~ Sandosham Family with Morticia Addams, the lady on the extreme left.

Aarika

My two gorgeous cousins, Michaela & Aarika

Last week, Saturday night was dedicated to Quek who has finally come back from China. Thankfully, he didn't pick up a weird China accent. We have Subway for dinner before he bought us coffee at Starbucks, Raffles City. Deciding we were hungry we went to Newton Hawker Centre for supper. It was good to have such company and conversations again.
On Sunday, went shopping a little and bought 2 pants from Fox and a sweatshirt from G2000.
Then booked in for a short week in which i failed my Standard Obstacle Course but Silver-ed my IPPT. On Thursday, i decided to return to pool. So i've ended my sebatacle, and to my horror, i realise i can't play anymore. So i decided on a little personal individual training at Classic. After about an hour of playing, this NUS pool player decides to challenge me. Seeing as i was bored i accpeted his challenge knowing full well the outcome. 5-2 was the depressing score. But i'll be back, soon i hope!
On Friday, got up early to open a new Save-As-You-Protect Account at DBS and then to collect my Singapore Graduation Certificate(SGC) from school and then meeting Kwong Yuan and Dao Kang had breakfast at the hawker centre we missed so much now. We made our way down to Tampines Mall to meet Grace where we ate again at Pasta Mania. We then watched Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End. I thought the show was magnificent with great action and an epic love story meshed in the plot. Who could fault Johnny Depp's performance once again as Captain Jack Sparrow. After the show, Grace politely followed me to Raffles Place to claim some free gift before we headed to Orchard Road to revel the Great Singapore Sale. I saw a lot of things i liked but unfortunately, army allowance is modest and i had to manage funds properly. While shopping in British India saw a certain ex pass by. I'd be first to admit my heart did skip a beat.. As my Mat Sergeant would say, suck it in and just too bad.
So a want list: Jacket from Domanchi -$129
Shirt from Domanchi -$89
Linen Shirt from Giordano Concept store - $60
Black leather shoes
She tried a dress from Esprit which i agreed was not worth the price. After trying to find for her shoes we settled at Sakae for dinner. After a long day, i was exhausted so we headed home.
Saturday night, went for Teochew porridge with the family at Tembeling Road before meeting Clarence and Adrian Tan, who went for the IT fare for obvious reasons. Haha, i hope nobody gets massacred for this. I meant Clarence wanted to buy a new laptop! So we enjoyed the Late Night Shoppping at Suntec and Marina Square and we eventually bought drinks and sprawled on the grass at the Sky Garden admiring the night sky.
Till next week, hope you recover quick hun!

Song of the Moment: There She Goes - The La's
This is the original 1988 classic before the 1999 cover by Sixpence None The Richer

This was the exact song running through my head when she strolled by...

Bittersweet

2007-05-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

These last two weeks have been bittersweet, a lot more bitter than sweet though.

Firstly, two weeks ago, for my first book out, I had a long weekend due to May Day.
So on that Saturday, I went for soccer though I was tired but I was so used to waking up at 5.30, i couldn't force myself back to sleep. At night, i had a sumptuous dinner at Marche with Grace at VivoCity. After having crappy army food for 2 weeks, everything whets my appetite. And who could forget my favourite part of my dinner; dessert. The crepe with fresh fruit, custard and ice-cream is superb! Went on to meet Neil, Adrian and Clarence at Chijmes to watch a little football and have a drink. Sunday, it was just dinner with my grandparents. But at least I got to drive to Changi Village and I was thankful i haven't forgotten everything about driving.
On Monday, went for a simple dinner before heading to Boat Quay with the folks for drinks. We wanted to enter IndoChine at The Asian Civilisation Musuem but the place was just too chic for our simple dressing so we chose Q Bar next to it. It was a Mojito for me, a Lychee Martini for my mom and a pint of Carlsberg for Dad. Then we hopped over for the best live band i've seen. A brazillian outfit playing Latin Jazz with songs like Oye Como Va, MasQue Nada and Mambo Mindoro. I loved it!! The lead singer was gorgeous and she looked even better doing the salsa.
Tuesday, once i woke up, it felt utterly depressing knowing i had to book in that night itself. I had to follow my brother to Queensway to buy shoes then it was booking in.

So the first downside and by far the most bitter, RSAF has rejected me. There goes my childhood ambition of becoming a pilot. So once passion is taken away, i'm looking to become rich. My second was having field camp. Not bathing for 6 days was disgusting to most. The last 2 nights we had to dig a shell scrape which resembled a grave and sleep in it. On the last night, it became really miserable when it rained and we slept in mud. It didn't help that sleep was disturbed by wild boars.
On the upside, i've been accepted into NUS' Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences. And the hardest part of BMT is over.

Over this short weekend, i had to really make use of the time i had. I had dinner with Grace at New York, New York. To satisfy my sweet tooth, we shared a waffle. We proceeded to walk around looking for Macademia nuts to satisfy her cravings so we ended up at Chocz Esplanade. There, we met Keng Foo, Chun Kiat and a girl whose name eludes me now. So they invited us to TCC, so we trodded all the way to Clarke Quay. I had a nice Coffee Margarita. After that, Grace, deciding she wanted a night walk, walked me all the way to Bugis where she took a cab home. We had a nice walk. Then i finally met up with Jie Long after not seeing for almost 2 months at about 1am. Played pool for awhile and realised we can no longer play so we headed down to RedBar and opened a bottle of EagleHawk 2005 Chardonnay. Boy, was it strong. I missed having talks like this with him and it's been too long. Obviously, Bmt and OCS were the main topics. Hope to see you soon! I'll sign of here for now as i'm rushing off to Sakae Sushi for Mother's Day dinner. So till next week...

I don't really have a song of the moment but i just bought Michael Buble's CD, "Call Me Irresponsible", and these are a few of his other songs. I absolutely adore his music!

This is the magic of the 4 greatest performers!

Memories

2007-05-01T02:38:00.000-07:00

Let's go back a couple of weeks to just before i entered army. I tried to post but Blogspot didn't seem to want me to. So after my 2 week confinement, things are little blurred so please bear with it, and my deteriorating standard of English.

On that Monday, I had work with my Dad together with Neil and Adrian Tan. I finished up my last few lessons of circuit driving.
On Tuesday, I had dinner with Jasmine at Sakae, Changi Airport. This girl is hilarious and bonkers! It's also amazing how different our palette for japanese food were. So I tried a lot of new stuff that day. I then welcomed my grandparents back from their month-long trip from Australia. Jasmine, you're right. I hope I too can have that type of romance till I'm of that age, travelling with my significant other. By the way, your Dad looks real friendly.
Wednesday was the day i had been anticipating since I bought the tickets, Phantom of the Opera! After more work with my Dad in the morning, I rushed home to get changed before picking Bex up from her home. We had dinner at Coffee Club Marina Square before the musical.

Now, for my critical analysis for the play. It being a play about a play, there are many subtle points where it was difficult to distinguish whether it was "real" or them acting. The cast was phenomenal for the most part. Christine Daae was exceptional but I felt the Phantom could have been a little more powerful, vocally and in terms of character. Raoul, Christine's childhood lover, had good stage presence and quite a magnificent set of vocals. The costumes and props were exquisite. However, the were a couple of major hiccups and shouldn't have been made at that level, mainly sound faults. The falling of the chanderlier was weak and could have been a lot more dramatic. Little gasps or cries from the audience. Stage direction was good, making use of illusions like the disappearing of the phantom in the last scene. But everyone's favourite scene, where the phantom had Christine under his charm as he rowed to his lair was brilliant with the dry ice. The conductor had a dual role this time actually acting as well. She looked gorgeous from where I was.
But overall, I'd rate it 4 out of 5 after including the amazing scores which were penned down by the prodigious Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Obviously it was more enjoyable because of the company I had. We shared champagne during intermission. After the show, we went to my favourite Starbucks and chatted for almost an hour and a half. Sadly, the were closing and i had to meet my friends one last time before army, so in my suit, i joined them at Simpang Bedok for LAN and prata as we watched a boring Liverpool-PSV encounter.

On Thursday, woke up kinda late before finish packing up my stuff for Tekong. I met StephKoh and Samuel for my last delicious Brownie at Coffee Club Siglap. And I bumped into Ms Siva again after so long!!
On Friday I answered the call of duty.

Song of the Moment: When You're Gone - The Cranberries

Wishing there was someone to keep me warm on the cold Tekong nights...

Yin Yang

2007-04-10T02:55:00.000-07:00

Saturday. I eventually went for football. At night it was dinner with Grace and Keng Foo at Sizzler and then we were joined by Adrian Tan and Clarence at Chijmes.
Sunday, got up early to play soccer with Raymond, Alvin, Adnan and Ivan.

I guess when humans evolved, there was a distinct role for man and woman to play. Yang, being male, strong, unbending. Yin, female, soft, yielding. A little of each in the other sex to stop us from killing one another. But 6000 thousands years after Mesopotameia, things aren't so clear anymore. What I hate, the social stigmas. I'd be the first to admit I cry a little more than I should. A sad movie, a sad song. Does that make me weak? I guess so. Explains the breakups. Just brought along too much emotional baggage than a strong independent women can handle. Maybe i'm just barking up the wrong tree and I may be grossly generalising here but i think there's a bit too much Yang in this world. But i guess that's what they teach in school, grab what you want, fuck those that don't get it. It's their problem, not mine. So in the recent weeks i've been told to be a little less unbending. In 19 years of living somebody finally told me directly to be unyielding, to be selfish and not so selfless. I just wish i had the strength like Betty to not succumb to the pressures of those around and just be yourself.
Isn't it true. I'm there every Saturday to meet friends and i've gave away 2 relationships for that. Yet I don't see the purpose of getting angry when these friends decide they have better things to do. So to answer Adrian Tan on both accounts, your parents devote hours to family and not to friends because it's a sad fact, but friends do come and go. You keep one or 2 along the way but that's if you're lucky. Family is a better investment. Ahh.. But there's always the other spectrum, those that were there when it mattered most. Through a breakup, a passing of someone dear, a rough patch.
Thus, in my final week i've filled the days with those who matter. I thank those who've help and remember those who haven't. Tuesday, it's dinner with Jasmine. Wednesday, it's Phantom of the Opera with Bex. Thursday is dinner with StephKoh and Friday I answer the call of duty.
Damn, the days are creeping up on me like a ageing man realising his own mortality. Hopefully this 2 years go by swiftly and not too painfully. So a new chapter begins...

Song of the Moment: Reflection(OST-Disney's Mulan) - Christina Aguilera

Angels on High

2007-04-07T01:34:00.000-07:00

So i'm high. Really high. I have lost my ability to drink loads before the alcohol kicks in. 8 glasses of Tiger beer. 3 Jugs shared with my Dad. That's all. That's all it takes before I passed on my below adequate skills of pool to my brother on a worthless pool table. (I hope you don't mind me blabbering). I actually had a full conversation with my brother! Since forever. My father was way high too, but he managed to get us back in one piece. From Changi Village to Simei in 5 minutes dashing in and out of traffic. So this is what I gave up clubbing with the TJ friends for. A wonderful dinner and then a beach bar with the family. A band that could play instruments excellent-ly but needed a whole new set of vocals. But now I have too much inhibition. I saw this girl spending time with her, I presume, birthday-celebrating father, and I had no balls to ask her for her number or even a dance. The many times that she went to the toilet and hoping i'd bump into her only resulted in me walking by her. She's by far not hot but she had her charms and two relationships on, no GUTS!!!! Damn!! But now I see why people get drunk in times of trouble, it's just so... WOOHOO! Nothing much happened this week except circuit driving and a lot of reading.
This is a weird week. Went to watch Roma beat ManUtd alone at 3 o'clock in the morning. Then people I haven't talked to in 5 years all of a sudden ask me for songs. And me actually deciding to go for soccer tomorrow morning. I've never had debates when it came to soccer but with Quek gone and without any worthy adversary it seems such a waste time to go. But i'd better sign off here before I feel like fucking someone, metaphorically, or however you spell it. Till the next time, probably the last time you'll see a blabbering high ME. Till then, Cheerios!

Song of the Moment: Above All - Lenny LaBlanc

It being Good Friday, i really felt bad getting high on such a solemn occasion. But precisely next Friday, 13th no less, i will be F*&% by the sergeants in Tekong so last weekend with the parents and although I hate to mention it, my brother. I really really love this song and I almost had to perform it at the Good Friday service at the church today. Thankfully, they asked me when i'm sober, or I might have said yes. So Good Friday to all Christians and Happy Easter, and remember that Jesus died for US so that we may have forgiveness and a chance to live for eternity in paradise.

April Fools'

2007-04-01T21:17:00.001-07:00

Once again sorry for this overdue post. Let's go back to last Wednesday. It was more drumming practices and driving lessons.
On Thursday, it was dinner with Quek, Clarence and Adrian Tan at ThaiExpress Esplanade. Clarence as usual wore a singlet and shorts. He looked out of place. Haha. Then we took a walk to One Fullerton to the my-now-favourite-Starbucks, with the view of the Marina Promenade and the Merlion. Then to satisfy my sweet tooth we settled at MacDonald's Marina Square for a Oreo McFlurry and when that closed we set on the steps with the majestic view of The Esplanade. Wasted it wasn't a clear night.
On Friday, I completed touch-ups to my room. Got a painting from my Aunt Carol which added a splash of colour. At night, went down to play soccer.
Saturday was tiring and filled to the brim. Morning, it was soccer with SLK. In the afternoon, soccer with my neighbours who invited me to play for their team. It's been a loonnngggg time since i played in rain that heavy. Refreshing. Then home to wash and clean before having dinner with te folks. I beginning to think i'm having some sought of jealousy quotient or something, but it's really nice to be without my brother. We had dinner at Maxwell Food Court near Tanjong Pagar and shared a Heineken with my Dad. Then they dropped me off at Chijmes to meet the buddies Quek, Clarence Adrian Tan and Samuel again only to watch Liverpool dessimate Arsenal, who seemed short of ammunition. Then for Quek's farewell dinner, it was food and drinks at Newton. The cockles with sambal balachan and the BBQ stingray was delicious and the Heineken that accompanied was heavenly. Couldn't believe so many of you guys never tried cockles. Geez. We decided to retire early because we had to get up early for Quek's flight off the next morning, so I was home by 12.30.
Sunday, woke up at 6.45am. In a daze, dragged myself to the airport for breakfast with the same guys. Took a few pictures with Quek then we headed off. (Hope when you're reading this, you're safe and sound in Beijing already, unpacked and ready for your project. Stay safe and only if you have to, choose a nice China girl). Got home and crashed and woke up in time for Cha Cha. After class, we're decided tentatively to go to Sibu for fishing! Let's hope it's confirmed. Then to Tampines Mall with Jasmine and went to Sans Bookshop and waited as this girl took forever to choose her book. (Don't forget the books you're supposed to lend me and i'll try not to forget yours, IF we go to Sibu). Then to NTUC to buy toothpaste and shampoo. She's more fickle then I am, damn. Then again i'm supposed to be the guy, so i chose randomly for her. As we were leaving the cashier, she looked so hard to find the things she bought, only to realise she was already carrying them. I died of laughter. So we parted ways and my mother picked me up as we headed for Alison's house in Woodlands. My congratulatory dinner for making it into Uni and my farewell for army.

So the only April Fool's joke was the fact that a sentence had been passed on me. 13 days left. And i'm trying to fill every single day. Now I sought of understand what a person with terminal illness feels like or a prisoner on death row. Live for the minutes and hours, and the months and years will take care of themselves.

Song of the Moment: Layla(acoustic) - Eric Clapton

Ranked bt Rolling Stones Magazine as the 4th Gretest Guitarist of all time. This guy is amazing! And the lyrics are especially meaningful to me.

For Everything Else

2007-03-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, it was dinner with Thammie, who's enjoying his last couple of days before OCS. We were joined by Pei Fen, and we enjoyed Pasta Mania, Tampines. After dinner, Grace and Dao Kang joined us for Mr Bean Holiday. If you haven't watched it, don't. It's not really worth $9.50 or $7.50 for that matter. Sorry to the TJ soccer guys for pangseh-ing(if anybody knows the english word for this please let me know) you all. But I really didn't feel like clubbing. Thanks for the free invite though. Hope you all drank to your hearts' content.
Sunday, hell of a tiring day. Woke up kinda late and went down to the hardware shop to buy paint. Started work at around 4pm and ended at 4.00am. Replaced the old table with a lovely red oak-looking one. So my room has a little more colour now.
Monday had drving lessons and finally learnt to park both parallel and vertical in one lesson. Then it was dinner and buying stuff at Ikea Tampines. Finished the touch-ups for my room, paint wise.
Tuesday, got up late for the Cage, so taxi-ed down. It's amazing how a few days of slacking off the exercise can make you that much less fit. Had to rush back for driving lessons again. It was a nap in the afternoon cos' I really felt tired and feverish.

Spent quite a bit this week on my room.
New Ikea Ethel Bed Comforter - $16
Ikea Standing Lamp - $19.90
Matex and ICI paint - $30
Getting rid of my brother - PRICELESS
They're so right, there are somethings in life that money can't buy.
I'm looking for a nice wall clock and some landscape posters/paintings. If anybody knows a place that sells them at reasonable prices, do tell.

Song of the Moment: Better Man - Robbie Williams

Send someone to love me...

The Summary

2007-03-24T13:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the overdue post. The week was eventful and i'm finally getting my own room. After 19 years, and of all times, before army which leaves me little time to enjoy it. On Wednesday, the contractors came and I killed time reading while ensuring they were not stealing stuff. Wonderful company of StephKoh and Samuel for dinner at Sakae Sushi Parkway. Sat there for about an huor and a half before moving up to Ya Kun Kaya Toast for budget coffee. On Thursday, had a emotionally-horrid day. Only had driving to take my mind off it. So around midnight, left for a exercise/run. Only returned at about 2.30. It was back to Expo route and I am truly sorry to the couple having sex in the car. Didn't mean to interrupt. Then Friday arrived. Woke up in time for The Cage. We played from 2-6. Thoroughly exhausted from football, we had dinner at KFC Kallang. Then Adrian Tan, Quek and I met Clarence at Geylang for durian. Clarence looked right at home chatting with the durian seller in Hokkien and choosing the durians. Then the most exciting part, walking down the streets which is the closest thing Singapore has to a Red Light District. Any guy or girl who needs an ego boost, just walk down the Even numbered streets of Geylang(as Clarence so expertly explained) and you'll think you're the Best looking guy in town with girls coming after you grabbing your hand and inviting you into their make-shift homes. An eye-opener. The darker the street the less the Girls wore. After having enough(of walking, hope you weren't think ing of anything bad), we sat at a Coffeeshop next to Aljunied MRT station to have coffee and talked from around 9.30 to 11.30.

Song Of The Moment: Careless Whisper - George Michael

Steadless 3B. The story of the Ah pek, Ah lian & Milk Chocolate

2007-03-20T02:50:00.000-07:00

Occupy, occupy, occupy time. It's the best way to survive when your feeling low. So on Saturday, it was soccer with Ex-Team TJC and we had a resounding victory over Song Nian's Dunman High's team. 5-0! Nice to score too. Then it was off to Simpang Bedok to have a relatively sumptuous dinner. This is going out to whoever it may concern, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU START SMOKING!?! You haven't even entered army yet. Hope you really stopped like you said.
On Sunday, it was Cha-Cha again and it was a really depleted class. No wonder. But it allowed me to improve but remember improvement is RELATIVE. Then soccer downstairs then up to watch Phantom of the Opera the movie. I had to leave at halfway though. It was coffee at Starbucks with StephKoh, passed her the notes and a long overdue talk(Hope notes are useful and eating is better with the extracted wisdom tooth, sounds horrid). Samuel joined us really late and finally received his, wait for it..... CHRISTMAS present! Talk about belated-ness. Home to catch last part of Ugly Betty and off to bed.
Early Monday morning as i met Thammie, KY and Yan Deng at Jurong East at 0930. But as usual, late comers. KY arrived at 1100. So ice-skating it was till 2.30. And OMGoodness, the small kids there are adorable!! And they make us look like fools on the ice. Ahhh, such grace and poise. Then Bridge at KY's till i met Jie Long and Clarence at Fusion3. Still no pool for me, but thanks for the Heineken. Refreshing! Dinner at the ol' prata place and then it was home. Then the night exercise. Utterly exhausting day.

Finally found out the reason and now it hurts more because it's also insulting. So Jie long, my runs are not for physical training, it's too numb the brain. Did anyone read about the "emo" kids slashing their wrist and listening to *ahem* Fall Out Boy, The Used and My Chemical Romance in today's ST Home section? How heart-wrenching. What idiots. Ooo, the angst and the relief of the sliced wrist. Oh well, to each his own.

PS, SLK check website/blog. Updates from Samuel.

Song Of The Moment - Don't Play That Song For Me(You Lied)

Lyrics: Dont play that song for me
Cause it brings back memories
Of the days that I once knew
And all the days that I spent with you

Oh no, dont let it play
It fills my heart with pain
Please stop it right away
Cause I remember just-a-what it said

It said darling (I love you)
You know that you lied
Oh, you know that you lied
You know that you lied
You lied
You lied

I remember on our first date
You kissed me then you walked away
And I was only seventeen
And I never dreamed that he could be so mean

Oh darling
Dont you play it no more
Dont you dare play that song
You know you lied

Ohh ohh yah

Weakness

2007-03-17T00:34:00.000-07:00

Got up early on Thursday for driving. Then it was downstairs to exercise at about 11am. The Singapore sun kills. At night, it was more drum lessons from the loving dad at church.
Friday proved to be more eventful. Yet another early day, but it was to work for my Dad. I shifted for this beautiful French lady by the name of Isabelle Le-Dette at Raffles Quay. But work was done quite fast. I wanted to go TCC there but realised everybody there were really well-dressed in their black shoes and ties. So it was off to The Cathay and sat at Starbucks for 3 hours reading and enjoying the Jazz/Blues music.

Quite relaxing till this bunch of idiotic Bedok Town students came in and made sure everyone knew they were there. Thankfully Grace arrived around 1.45pm and we had lunch. While killing time, we came to a conclusion, Singapore's too small. Met her friend who works at Ben&Jerry's. Then Lay and Danial came walking by, planning to watch the same movie and at the same time. And we saw Rui En and Pierre Png shooting a scene. As for the movie, 300 it was. M18 for all the sex, lesbian and breast scenes. All of a sudden, Munich looks like child's play. 300 even included every 'thrust' King Leonidas had with his wife. So the plot is okay, but some parts are just plain unbelievable. Then it was dinner at Yoshinoya.

Anyway, i think i'm really weak, emotionally and physically. Physically, it's obvious, my frail body and all, But emotionally. Why can't I move on, why do i think so much about it, after what everybody has said and done. I was so wistful i actually missed 2 stops on my MRT ride to Dhoby Ghaut today. So why can't I internalise like the Spartans do, to not have weakness or at least not to show it and be a man.

Post.Script, Thanks for the notes, lugging it around and for the original soundtrack for dreamgirls! And to one and all Patricians of times new and old, HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

Song of the Moment: My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne

Test of Faith

2007-03-15T03:15:00.000-07:00

Firstly, today was dull with just the computer till I met Anis. We had coffee at TCC CityLink for about an hour and a half. This girl had hell of a lot to talk about, not that i'm complaining. So we talked of old times in Loyang, and how she hates teaching there now. And I think you deserve better than that. I'm sorry but he looks really Mat-ish. Walked her home and found out she knew more than me about football. Quite embarassing.(Stop dreaming, Kaka doesn't know you).

Back to the topic at hand. Firstly, a proviso. I mean no disrespect and this is written with no contempt just my explanation to why i have no religion. So, in this day and age where religion have broken up relationships and sowed so much discord in the world, is it really my fault that I don't have a religion. I've been a Catholic, baptised. I've been to an Anglican church of my aunt's. I've gone for Bible school at a Baptist church. I've been introduced to denominations of the Brethren and Methodist. I've heard of Fundamental and Radical churches. So for my non-secular friends, deciding whether to go for Mass or service isn't as hard a decision. Before anyone thinks i'm Holy, I suggest you think again. It's just these things disturb me. GOD. I believe He exist. So why can't we just have a direct relationship with him? People said sin has pushed us too far away from him and religion is the bridge that helps us back to Him. The problem I face is that these bridges are built on deceit and lies. We all know Protestants grew because King Henry VIII wanted to divorce his wife but the Catholic dogma forbade it. So he converted into a PROTESTant, more accurately, an Anglican. And when two sets of people had an argument on the doctrines, they went their separate ways, branching into new Denominations under Christianity. Since religion is started by people having different views, this gives me greater cause to lose faith in religion because we have the chinese Christians who buys 4D and prays to the Taoist Gods of Luck to strike the lottery. We have those that have pre-marital sex after coming home from Mass on Sunday with their girlfriends. We have the Prayer leader raping the members. The Priest that siphons funds that are meant for the poor(explains that new Mercedes C280 Luxury Sedan outside the church).
Then there's the whole speaking in tongues and the Touched by the Holy Spirit thing. I'd be honest and say i've never experienced these. But I am highly skeptical. I mean isn't it more likely that you don't want to be the only fool standing up when all the rest of the congregation has been prayed on by the Pastor and has had the Holy spirit enter them as they fall to the ground, sometimes in tears.
Jehovah's Witnesses(JWs). Many see them as a cult but I studied with them for the longest time. And if you judge them, you'll see they are really the most devout Christians. They are the most humble people, with no desire for materialistic wealth. Yet they are persecuted daily, as they serve the 3 years in Detention Barracks for not wanting to raise arms and serve in National Service as it is a violation of peace. However, I do agree they are a little extreme as they don't believe in having organ tranfusions as it is seen as interfering with God's Will.
All this is just food for thought and the doubts that I have. And not forgetting, this is only Christianity. We've yet to include, Islam, Jewish, Buddism and all other religions. All i'm saying if God in his infinite mercy and forgiveness, how could he possibly fault us for choosing Islam instead of Christianity, for example?
It is unfair considering there are many external factors in choosing a religion. But to be impartial, even to God, many of us nowadays look for him only in our darkest hour. When times are good, we forget about him. I guess at the end of the day, it's no wonder they call it a FAITH. Just got to believe.

Song Of The Moment: Give Thanks - Unknown

Cheeky but cute kid..

Whining My Days Away

2007-03-14T01:04:00.000-07:00

So this post is a little overdue. On Saturday, it was the usual soccer with SLK at East Coast. Then, it was all the way to the other end of Singapore to NTU to help me make up my mind on the courses I wanna take. I met Ling Yi(former snooker captain of mine), and he was the first of my 3 brilliant things to make my Saturday. I went for a pilot test last year and they didn't get back to me so i assumed I failed and threw my plans of becoming a fighter pilot out the window. However, he said that they only sent out reject letters and those that passed are behind a long long line, awaiting interview. So there's HOPE! Then I had dinner with Dao Kang, Dennis, Grace and Clarence at PastaMania Suntec. If not for the amazing company i had, i would have been infuriated at the crowd that was at Suntec that day. Then we bid adieu to Grace and DK. Then, the second brilliant thing, a new 5.1 Creative Speaker set! Finally, good sound quality for a music connoisseur or so I would like to believe. The final brilliant event was buying coffee for the buddies, Clarence, Quek and Adrain Tan. For the first time in a long while, it was just the company of each other, no soccer, no pool, no loud music. We talked about religion, friends and just plain ol' life. It was wonderful. And it helps with my long sabbatical from pool.

Sunday was mundane. Just fixing up my new speakers and cleaning up my room.

Monda was crazy. My father woke me up at 7am to go for a jog at East Coast. Was that his idea of a joke? But i dragged myself out of bed and to ECP. There, we met our President, his honourable, Mr Nathan. Breakfast at MacDonalds. For lunch, it was with the folks at Sizzler. Then, at night, more drumming lessons from my Dad.

As for Tuesday, it was driving lessons and a jamming session at the church. Sorry to Lynette and Sanghan for having to repeat time and time again just for me to pick up the beats. And I got to drive home! The really scary part was drving next to a stationary police car next to Simei MRT station. Yes my Dad is COOL! Cooler than me sometimes I think.

But the last few days since Saturday have been quite painful for obvious reasons. Dreams both during sleep and consciousness have not be kind. Ahhh, how things can change over a matter of days.

Song of the Moment:I Can't Unlove You - Kenny Rogers

MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC

2007-03-10T02:17:00.000-08:00

So, Joshua has gone back to church. Albeit just to learn the drums. Yes, my father has taken time out to teach the last living Sandosham that doesn't know how to play an instrument. So the drums it was. It was quite scary, entering a church at night all by ourselves. But it's the only time i'll get the chance to use the empty jamming room. So i managed to pick up the basics quite fast and my father says it's because i have the Sandosham blood. RIGHT... But still classes away from Guy Patterson(the drummer of The Wonders who gave the us that classic beat). For the first time today, I went through a whole driving lesson without stalling the damn car. PROGRESS!! With enlistment date fast approaching, my instructor had to squeeze everything in to the next few weeks to complete my driving skills. I had the most interesting conversation with my instructor today. Out of the blue, he asked if i had a Girlfriend and i said i just broke up. Then, he said don't worry, she would have left you in Uni anyway, cos' Girls hate guys who complain about being bullied by their sergeants and it doesn't help that you are going to be bald. In Uni, the guys have finished army and are no longer wimps. What A FUCKING retarded instructor! He continued to say once you reach year 3 of Uni it's time to start having a serious realtionship, somebody to settle down with. Couldn't stop laughing.

Today, it was another music treat with the movie Dream Girls with Grace. (Really sorry you had to endure the 3 idiots next to you). But I loved the movie and i'm most definitely gonna get the music soundtrack. The scriptwriters and producers did the amazing job of penning down excellent lyrics for the songs and who can fault Jennifer Hudson's Oscar winning performance along with Beyonce's and Jamie Foxx's singing. This show had everything, betrayal, music, a success story and a moral. But i guess with the many themes and plots, certain aspects were shallow-ly dealt with. But 4 popcorns just for music.
Poor Quen, Isetan Scott's had a topman bazaar today. Things were really cheap. So i bought 2 pairs of jeans, a long-sleeved tshirt and a casual blazer for a mere 100 bucks. Usually a pair of jeans would already have cost more.

And on the train ride home, I heard this wonderful song that is the epitome of old songs being meaningful. The lyrics are actually the words of a poem of the same name. I found true relief and inspiration in the lyrics to help me through this period of uncertainty in my life as I step into adulthood.

Song Of The Moment: Desiderata - Les Crane

Bye Bye Cupid

2007-03-08T01:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the first time in a long while that I slept for such a long time. Once i woke up, i went to all the Universities' websites and shortlisted what i intended to do. Then, i went to the airport to see yet another close friend off. Really going to miss you wenny! (Don't worry, the chocolates won't make you that fat) Anyway, we had her last meal in Singapore at Popeye's with her sis, Diyana, Chicken Little, Shujing, JiaYi and another guy whose name i can't remember. Remember the ralph laurens when you come back! And then it was the usual run at night after CSI.

As for today, it was dinner with the folks at IKEA Tampines. It was nice conversing with them without the interuptions of my brother who wasn't there. So we talked about army, University and unfortunately, the wonders of being single. Yes both my parents agreeing it's better to be single. WONDERFUL!! Then it was back home for my run. And this time i agreed to allow my brother to follow. Or the other way round. I'll be the first to admit it(though i hate it), he's the more atheletic one. YES YES, i'm admiting it. Big deal. Then we busted some football tricks with push-ups as punishment before highlights on Channel 5 came on. Don't worry, this will not become a habit or anything.
And so i finally have somebody to accompany me to my final play before army, PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!! All my money down the drain on tickets. But it's gonna worth every cent. So i'm gonna try for a job at Cafe del Mar at Sentosa. Hope the employer could use a part timer like me. Then I could enjoy the perks of viewing my co-workers in razorbacks(Sportbra like things but more formal. I think that's what it's called)

Song Of The Moment: Gravity - John Mayer

As this song plays, i'd like to thank all that have helped me through this trying period. Couldn't have done it without you :)

Coping

2007-03-05T10:06:00.001-08:00

It was a fairly regular day, playing 'dummy' bridge with grace and dao kang. Then on to Bedok Interchange to have Pizza Hut. It was worth it! $8 for like a individual pizza, soup, drumlets and a drink. Of course it was a student meal and once again our EZ-Link cards came into good use. Then on the heat of the moment, I went to Kelly services to get another job. I plan to occupy myself. Then the mundane task of looking through career and universities admission guides. Desperate Housewives are back on Wysteria Lane and that somewhat brought back good TV to channel 5 with Jake In Progress at midnight and Frasier after that. But in between I decided to channel my despair and anger into exercise. And I found this gorgeous place behind Expo. It was just me, the wind, Gold90 FM and the incessant buzz of the aeroplanes. It was damn serene. Gave me time to think. I sure hope EDB does not read this post and erect a factory and destroy my place of solace. It comes with a nice cabana next to a pond too! So I ran around on empty roads. If i don't update this blog in the weeks to come, get the police and K-9 unit to go look for my buried body there, cos' i swear anybody hiding in the bushes could mug me and dismember me into a million pieces. Thank God I had Brian Richmond to keep my mind from wandering with good music except when he decided on a particular REO Speedwagon song. But at a certain point i think i broke my personal best for the 200m sprint. Really a setting out of a horror movie. Here's a pic of the empty roads to nowhere and the misty pond(excuse the picture resolution)

Alright i wouldn't call it an epiphany, but I really felt like going back to church, while running aimlessly, after all these years. An ultra conservative one, no hot chicks, no prayers in tongues, no rock band and no exorbitantly paid Pastor or Priest. But it could just be my vulnerable state. Anyway, hope that Quek's internship went well(i think it started today), Quen aced his test and I pray that both my Grandparents and Wenny have safe flights to Australia and Indonesia respectively.

Song Of The Moment: All Out Of Love - Air Supply

The Horrid start to the Lunar New Year and the Awful Birthday present

2007-03-03T21:08:00.000-08:00

A man or boy should never have to go through break-up and results of an important exam in a single week. How I got through it, only God knows, but i think it might be something along the line of FRIENDS. So yea, i been busy occupying myself with driving lessons and socialising with friends I have neglected. I just couldn't stay at home alone because it still hurt and when you're alone you just keep thinking of it. Which is why i thought Quen's arrival would provide sweet reprieve from the pain but it was when he was asleep that i went back to weeping quietly on my bed. So I have to thank Grace for having lunch with me on Wednesday. Somehow I ended up teaching her how to play many board games and began to wonder where this girl was from not knowing that many. Must have spent childhood on Venus. Oh yea, introduced her to iSketch too and it keeps her occupied on her boring days. And on results day, our class went for dinner at Fish & Co, Glasshouse. Then after a hell of a long debate Thammie, Wenny, Grace and I decided to strain our necks and take the front row for Ghost Rider. Then we all found out that they provided blankets and so i got wenny and grace blankets. But towards the end i had to steal Wenny's because my hands were freezing and made them share one. On Saturday, I really packed my day, with soccer with SLK at 9am and soccer with TJ friends at 4, and off to fusion2 at 9 to watch, to quote Quek, "man u deliver a sucker punch to liverpool."

Back to my horrid week, most of you would know that i've broken up and those that have asked would know this really really hurts because I still wanted the relationship. And sorry I can't answer those who asked me why i would break-up over something quite fickle that most couples face. I finally understand the meaning when Kenny Rogers crooned that classic Buy Me A Rose. All that neglect finally caused her to let go and walk away. As for the results, I underachieved and got an A,C,C and a B3 for GP. There goes my dreams of doing Aeronautical Engineering. But i soon realised that didn't hurt half as much as seeing Ben and Shumin sharing their results, or Jie long and Sher or Lay Sian and Danial. I had always envisioned somebody special being there on my results day, or when I enter army. So I'll face the solitude of army alone.

I decided to go for dance today, alone. I'm really sorry to Hazel and Avril to have to be stolen away from your partners to dance with me. And then rushed home to send Quen Seng off all the way in Novena(i finally get my bed back!). Then went for dinner at VeloCity with Grace at MOS Burger. And on to United Square to buy Patrizio Buanne's new album. Quite good!

That leaves me here in front of my computer, wishing you'd come back to me, to end the hiatus and give me someone to hold and love again.
Song Of The Moment: The Way It Used To Be - Engelbert Humperdinck

What's In A Name

2007-03-01T14:24:00.000-08:00

So i have about 3 hours before Quen Seng arrives from Malaysia and invades my room. I assure you i'm not bitter. Au contraire, i am grateful for his company when my best friend decides to leave me. So before I go shop till i drop, i'll write a little about the name of my blog. 2 failed relationships. Why? Becuase i was too quiet. And it's true. If you know me, besides my sarcasm and sometimes witty remarks, am i able to hold a full conversation? Seldom. Only excuse i can give is I'm a better listener. But so is a wall if you don't want to get a reply. Hence the gift of the gab. The true ability to speak in prose without afore thought and practice. I desperately want it. To speak without mumbling, to do it with confidence, to melt people's hearts and maybe get the opportunity i want and sometimes(just sometimes) deserve. As for topics of conversations, i guess that is just my fault. I do most things people find dreary like read up on wines, listen to old music and watch plays. I may be generalising here but not many teenagers can continue conversations on those. So i guess if i wait about 25 years, i'll begin to become interesting. I should have be born in the 16th Century Victorian Age, where wine was staple and plays was the main source of entertainment. Conceived about 500 years too late.

If anybody has read 6 Hours One Friday by Max Lucado the synopsis gives a wonderful quote, "When a hurricane strikes, good sailors know to anchor deep." It talks further about different times in your life, when you've been caught by one of life's storms and 3 of them were mentioned, FUTILITY, FAILURE and FINALITY in laymen terms, The Meaning of Life. Let Down. And the Death of Someone close. As this week comes to it's halfway point, the storm of failure has ravaged my soul and this has come even before the torment of the release of my A' Level results. And therefore i'm thankful for those who have been my bedrock for me to anchor upon. Close friends and family(EXcluding brother). You all therefore have my gratitude, shoutouts going to Quek, Jason for listening to me blabbler away, Grace for lunch-ing with me, Quen Seng for keeping me occupied with shopping and Jocelin for after not talking to me for so long to finally come back to hear me whine. Thanks A MILLION. All i'm missing now, is my drinking partner who's away on national duty so i'll stay alcohol-free. Sorry for this depressing post but such is the state of my life but don't let me get you down. Go out and enjoy yourselves! especially those that just ended their exams.

Song Of The Moment: Alone Again, Naturally - Gilbert O'Sullivan

Hello to One and All

2007-02-28T01:23:00.000-08:00

Welcome,
I know that i'm starting this blog way after its hype. But so it has been the story of my life. Procrastination. My number one enemy. See where it has gotten me. Lost the one thing that mattered the world to me. I will most definitely come back to this topic but for know, some welcoming notes and a general overview of everything in this blog. I started it so i could pen my down my thoughts and since i realised i have a greater proficiency in writing then speaking, thought i'd try to blog. As for the name of my blog site, I truly wish i had it.
So, firstly, i wish to apologise to anybody who is offended by my posts. You have 2 options, suck it in or fuck off and never read this blog again and yes expletives will be used. Also, at the end of every post i'll add a song just to reflect my mood. So if you really care and have the time, go find the lyrics and find out. I'll be the first to tell you that this blog will not have such exceptional creativity of poems(adrian's), entertainment of videos and pictures(jie long's) and ~~terrible english~~ i meant jokes(clarence's). So as a first post, i'll sign off here wishing you a good day!

Song Of The Moment: When It's Over - Sugar Ray